Two Layers of Trust

I want to trust God in everything, I really do, I want to leave everything up to him but recently I found myself telling my Mom: “I am okay with doing whatever God wants me to do, but if he could just tell me what it will be that would be great.”

When I said this I realized how much trust I have yet to give to God. I’m so ready to do what he wants but I’m still very much working on trusting him with the unknowns

This really goes back to my impatience as well. It’s hard for me to just be waiting to see which way God takes me. That being said I’m trying to take steps where he guides me to go.

Right now I feel like I’m standing in a hallway full of doors, with a huge key chain trying to see which door God wants me to go through. I don’t want to break down any doors, I want to find the one he has for me with the tools (er, key) he wants me to use. The struggle is I wish the key and door had my name on them.

It’s even harder explaining things to those around me, when people ask I have to tell them I’m doing what I can while trusting. This doesn’t mean much to them but its what I have right now.

Trust is hard, but I believe I will be better for it. I just keep praying for God to keep leading me, who knows what God has in store on the other side of the door. Glory be to God, even in my search.