Peopleships

This was a term we made up at camp when I worked there – it was to describe any kind of human connection really from family relationships, to couples, to friends, to colleagues, your church congregation, and everything else. As a team, we realized it was a helpful way to describe these instead of relationships at camp.

I’ve tried to learn a lot about peopleships over the years, figuring out how to best relate to others and see how I fit in my peopleships.

Now though it can be harder than ever to figure people out, there’s politics in everything and I’m not talking about the government. I’m talking about the science of influence and how it truly influences all our peopleships.

Especially since I’ve moved out I’ve realized I’m the only one who has an ultimate influence on my choices, sure my parents are still giving me advice and certainly still as ready to try to answer questions as they’ve ever been, but I ultimately have to decide what I keep in my home, whether I upgrade my car, how much money I save per month, etc.. My friends aren’t in charge of my home (unless I had roommates). I’ve hung out with work colleagues in the past but it’s my time I make the decision about. Even with my church – it’s my choice as to how I live out what I learn. This was a valuable change to my mindset over the last year especially. I learned that although I want to learn from others, ask opinions, and be invited to share my time in different ways it is, ultimately, my decision. I think this is one of the biggest mindset changes you can have going into adulthood.

In a specific example – parents become fellow adults as you get older. You still respect them and love them, but you also get to relate to them as adults, splitting the tab up, moving out, figuring out who do date and hang out with for yourself, chatting about big picture topics like theology, politics (if you’re my mother and I, at least), business ideas, and sometimes even home decorating ideas. They’ll always be your parents but this can be a helpful mindset switch for both of you.

Peopleships are about connections it’s about understanding others and what you mean to them, how you can be there for each other, and spur each other on for the best. You have to be independent to the extent that no one else is responsible for you (in a lot of cases, with potential exceptions like marriage among others that I don’t know about or realize). It’s also about loving others, showing grace and being kind, obviously, but it’s important to remember that peopleships make the world go round, and these values are a large part of what makes most, if not all peopleships work.

Photo by Helena Lopes on Unsplash